110+ Best Dad Jokes From Corny to Clever

By Jennifer L. Betts

Published October 13, 2020

Father and son having fun in the kitchen

If you are going in a head-to-head battle of the best dad jokes with anyone, you need some original material. While anyone out there can provide you with a bit of punny material, these dad jokes cover kids, Christmas, Thanksgiving, and even Halloween. You'll even find come cheesy and out of this world funnies.

Best Dad Jokes for Kids

Dads aren't the only ones that love dad jokes. Kids do too. Keep your kiddos giggling with these surefire giggle getters.

How do oceans greet each other? They wave.
What's a cheese you shouldn't eat? Nacho cheese.
Why shouldn't you bag your milk? It's better to keep it in the carton.
I told my son he put his shoes on the wrong feet. He looked down and said, "Nope, these are mine."
Why couldn't the roof tell the joke to the airplane? It was over his head.
What's a pirates favorite letter? The C.
Why is Peter Pan tired? He never lands.
What did the dog say to his friend? Woof.
How do you get a cow to cross the road? Tell it to MOOOve over.
Why couldn't peanut butter and jelly be friends? He was nuts.
Why did the grape need breads help? He was in a jam.

Clean Dad Jokes Out of This Galaxy

Some jokes are just out this world funny. Keep the laughter going at a cosmic level.

Why is the moon jealous of the sun? It outshines him every day.
Why didn't the Dog Star have any friends? Because it was too Sirius.
Why is Mars so popular? It's out of this earth.
What did the hippy say when he looked at the comet? It's far out, man.
Why did the star go to college? To get brighter.
Why did the star jump? It was trying to miss the black hole.
Why did the comet leave the galaxy? He needed more space.
What was the moon's parenting advice to earth? It's just a phase.
What did the earth say to the moon? You rock my world.
What did the sun say when the earth cried? Don't worry, it's not that sirius.
What bar is out of this earth? The spacebar.
What's the difference between a skydiver and an astronaut? One's more down to earth.
An astronaut isn't just going to wear a space suit. He's going to rocket.
Why did he think the star was hitting on him? It was t-wink-ling

Cheesy Dad Jokes

If you're looking to get that customary eye roll from your kiddos, these are the jokes for you. These jokes are the cheesiest of the cheesy!

To drive an electric car, do you need a current license?
I'm hungry. Nice to meet you hungry, my name is Dad.
I get plenty of exercise. I run my mouth, jump to conclusions, walk a fine line....
If you stick your lip out any further, a little birdie will perch there!
Dad burps. "Greetings from the interior!"
I have a joke about grilled cheese, but it's a little cheesy.
What did the guy say when he walked into the bar? That really hurts.
What're corns' favorite jokes? Corny ones.
You should never talk to trees. Why? They are kind of shady!
Who has all the problems and no answers? A math book.
I had a joke about books, but it was tearable.

Christmas Dad Jokes

Do you need a bit of Christmas material? Keep your Yuletide greeters in an uproar through these funnies.

Why isn't Santa ever cold? He's full of hot cocoa.
Why doesn't Santa need an umbrella? He has rein - deer.
Who are Santa's favorite women on Christmas? Christmas Carols.
Why did the Christmas tree fail the sewing class? He dropped his needles.
Why was Frosty the Snowman hungry? He smelled carrots.
Why didn't Santa go down the chimney? He was Claus-trophobic.
What's Santa's favorite insect? A Santa Peed.
Why were the elves afraid of Santa? He has a black belt.
Who did Santa take to the party? Dancer.
How does Santa keep his sleigh sparkling? He used Comet.
What do you call a dancing reindeer? Prancer.
What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa on Christmas night? You better take an umbrella, it looks like reindeer.
By did the gingerbread go home from school sick? He was feeling crumby.
What kind of cake is a little nutty? A fruit cake.
What do you call a penniless Santa? St. Nickel-less.
What's an elves favorite bread? Shortbread.
How do gingerbread men pay for lunch? With dough.
Why was the candy cane popular? It was in mint condition.
Why did Santa make a sleigh from candy? He wanted a sweet ride.
What is Santa's favorite corn? Candy corn.

Halloween Dad Jokes

It's downright spooky how funny these Halloween dad jokes are. Get a giggle with your favorite ghosts and ghouls.

What did the hipster ghost say on Halloween? Like...umm boo.
Why is Halloween a Dad's favorite holiday? All you can eat candy buffet.
What did the werewolf say on Halloween? Trick or treat!
What's a mummy's favorite music? Wrap.
Why didn't the ghost go to the party? It had no body to go with.
Why didn't the ghost go to the convention? No body would be there.
Why did the mummy stay home on Halloween? He was all wrapped up.
Why'd the vampire drink the smart kid's blood? He wanted A+.
Why do you always think you hear noises in a graveyard? It's all the coffin.
How do you know if a witch is illiterate? She can't spell.
Why doesn't a British mom need a costume on Halloween? She's a mummy.
Why was Jason unemployed on Halloween? He got axed from his job.
What do you call a coven of witches? Broommates.
What did you see when the werewolf bent over? A full moon.
What contest did the witch win? Spelling bee.
Why doesn't the werewolf want to leave the party? He's having a howling good time.
Why wouldn't the skeleton go into the haunted house? He didn't have the guts.
Why do ghosts speak Latin? It's a dead language.
What did the werewolf say to the vampire? You suck!
Why didn't anyone want to talk to the skeleton? He rattled on and on.
What do you call a baby ghost? A little boo.

Thanksgiving Dad Jokes

Dads do more than eat turkey on Thanksgiving, they tell a few whoppers too. Get your giggle on this Thanksgiving.

Why was the turkey laying around on Thanksgiving Day? He was stuffed.
What do Thanksgiving and a rock band have in common? A drum stick.
How do you quit on Thanksgiving? Cold turkey.
Why did the family put the turkey and chicken at opposite ends of the table? They sensed fowl play.
Why did the turkey walk up to the hunter? He wasn't a chicken.
What did the turkey say to the dad on Thanksgiving? Dude, I'm stuffed.
Why was the turkey excited for Thanksgiving? All his friends wanted to have him over for dinner.
How does a turkey eat Thanksgiving dinner? Gobble it.
What's a turkey's favorite dance? The wobble.
What do you call a limping turkey? A wobbler.
What's a turkey's favorite search engine? Gobble.
Why did a pilgrim never lose his hat? It had a belt.
What did the stuffing say to the turkey? It's dark in here.
What do you call a turkey on Christmas day? Lucky
What did the turkey say on Thanksgiving day? Quack quack.

New Years Funny Dad Jokes

Who knew ringing in the New Year could be funny? Have a laughing good time this New Year's Day.

Why is a New Year's Resolution like a little kid? It comes in one year and out the other.
What's a dad's favorite New Year's Resolution? 1080 pixels
Why is everyone so optimistic on New Year's? Their glass is always half full.
What's Dad's favorite greeting on New Year's Day? I haven't seen you since last year.
After spending New Year's Eve together. Wow, I've missed you. We haven't been together for a whole year.
You know what my favorite resolution is on New Year's? High definition.
Have you ever noticed the New York Times organizers always drop the ball?
What's the best snack on New Year's Eve? New Year's toast!
Why did Dracula pass out on New Year's? There was a count down.
Why was the Champagne happy on New Year's? It had a bubbly personality.
Why do thieves love New Year's Eve? They get to steal a kiss.
What's the difference between the walk to and from the bar on New Year's Eve? The difference is staggering.